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How to Avoid Painful Sex

Sex is a wonderful experience, and one that differs for each person around the world. As a first timer, it is natural to want your first time to be a good one; however, pain during first-time intercourse can put a damper on that. Here's a short guide that should help you avoid painful sex during your sexual experiences.


Reasons Why is Sex Painful at Times?

Since no two people are exactly alike, pain during first-time sexual intercourse can be caused by a variety of reasons.


- Insufficient Relaxation:

Anxiety isn't good for the body or mind, and in the case of sexual intercourse, anxiety or nervousness can cause tension, which will make penetration difficult and in turn lead to pain. A fully relaxed and aroused state can help alleviate pain caused by anxiety and provide a more comfortable experience.


- Insufficient Lubrication:

Lubrication is essential for reducing friction. Improper or insufficient lubrication can lead to painful penetration, so make sure to use additional lubricants to avoid friction, and by extension, pain during intercourse.


- Anatomy:

As said previously, each individual and their body is unique. When it comes to sex, there is no one-size-fits-all option, so take some time to explore your body and that of your partner. Try to figure out what works for you and what doesn't; ignorance of the anatomical buildup of your partner can contribute to painful sex and communicating what works for you and what doesn't will help minimize such instances.


- Insufficient Communication:

If you and your partner are not open with each other regarding your wants, needs, and desires, it can manifest as painful sex. An honest dialogue is crucial in avoiding painful sex as a first timer, as any concerns, ears, or pain you are experiencing is a part of sex and should be thoroughly discussed with your partner for the most pleasurable experience possible. Take things slow and explore with each other to be as relaxed as possible and avoid painful sex.



How to Avoid Painful Sex?

Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to make avoid painful sex:


Open and honest communication with your partner is the cornerstone of minimizing and eliminating painful sex. Any fears, reservations, or anxieties should be discussed beforehand and addressed accordingly so you have a supportive and understanding environment in which you can relax properly and enjoy yourself pain-free.


Insufficient lubrication leads to painful sex; you can use water-based or silicone-based lubricants to reduce friction and improve relaxation. Experimenting with different lubricants will help you figure out what works best for you and eliminate any pain related to friction.


Foreplay is Key: Inadequate levels of arousal will lead to inevitably painful sex. Make sure you and your partner engage in foreplay that makes you feel relaxed, comfortable, and aroused for the most pleasurable and pain-free experience.


Experimentation: Pain during intercourse has a variety of reasons; what works for one person may not necessarily work for another, which is why experimentation is necessary to find the positions you are most comfortable in. Increased pressure on certain areas may lead to pain and experimentation can help you find something that works best for you and your body.


When to Seek Professional Help?

If you've tried different things and nothing works, or if you continue to face discomfort during sex, consider consulting a medical professional. They can offer suggestions tailored to you, identify any underlying issues, and provide solutions to make intercourse more enjoyable and pain-free for you. You can also book an online consultation with nōni by clicking here.



Sexual intimacy is a journey rather than a destination; it should not be rushed, should be mutually consensual, and positive for both of you. Prioritizing positive communication, going at your own pace, and experimenting with each other can help enhance your experience and ensure you enjoy a comfortable and pleasurable time that is pain-free. Remember that your well being is important, and since no two people are exactly alike and neither are their bodies, self-prioritization and open communication along with some lubricant are the easiest ways of avoiding painful sex.

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