Updated: Mar 19
"I'm not into sex. I just don't care about it either way."
Do you ever see your friends posting statuses about how they can't wait to get laid? Every time you look through your news feed, there are pictures of couples all over each other and kissy selfies. When did everyone become so obsessed with sex? You don't entirely understand it; nor do you want to.
People who identify as asexual (or 'ace') feel like they are born without sexual desires. Maybe they never cared for it in the first place or maybe their interests changed overtime; either way, an ace typically has no interest in sex. Aces simply don't care about having it, doing it, or being seen by others while doing it.
This may come as a surprise to some, but asexuality has been scientifically proven and accepted by the medical community. Asexuals aren't sick or going through a phase; they simply don't have any interest in sex.
Aces typically feel no sexual attraction towards other people, meaning they never fantasize about others while masturbating nor do they ever get wet dreams about another person of any gender. There are also several different kinds of asexualities including: 'romantic', 'aromantic' and 'grey-asexual'. Romantics have romantic feelings for others while aromantics only feel platonic emotions for others. Grey-asexuals fall somewhere in between romantics and aromantics by either having a low sex drive or just no strong feelings towards other people.
So what does this all mean for aces? That's simple, it means they have absolutely no interest in having a romantic or sexual relationship with another person. Aces typically feel more comfortable being single and so they don't feel the need to seek out a relationship. After all, why would an ace want to have sex when they have no interest in it?
While there is nothing wrong with not feeling sexual attraction towards others, some people treat that as if it's weird or sick. In reality, asexuality should be seen as normal as being straight, gay/lesbian/bi-sexual etc because everyone is different from one another. The world needs to stop shaming people for their sexualities just because they are different. Asexuality needs to be taken more seriously, especially by the medical community. Aces who don't feel comfortable talking to others about sexuality due to fear of being shut down need to have an open discussion with their doctors.
If you're sexually active, there is nothing wrong with that either. You should always do what makes you happy even if it's not the same as everyone else. It's not fair for us all to conform to society's high expectations of sex and relationships when we all think differently from each other. People need to stop tearing each other down over sexuality; only then will everyones' self-esteem go up and depression rates decrease.
The reason aces feel a disconnect with the world is because of our hyper sexualized culture. People need to stop thinking it's okay to shame people for something they can't control. Asexuality isn't anything new, but that doesn't mean we don't need to focus on promoting acceptance and openness about sexuality in general. Aces want to enjoy their lives just as much as everybody else does without having sex thrown in their face every time they turn on the TV or open up their computer screen. This isn't so much about trying to push a certain belief onto anyone; it's more about letting people know they don't have to feel alone. Asexuals want to be taken as seriously as everyone else because at the end of the day, there's nothing wrong with not feeling sexual attraction towards others.
That is what it means to be asexual. Some ace people may never experience sexual attraction towards other people while others may only experience it once in a blue moon; whatever the case may be, every individual is different and so their experiences are also unique. The final say on whether or not you're ace simply comes down to whether or not you feel like you've been born without any sexual desires whatsoever. If that sounds like you, then congratulations! You just might be an ace person who needs someone to talk about your sexuality before you get too old to realise who you are.